The Caravan of Chaos

Today during nap time, the older three, who most certainly would NEVER dream of napping, requested to play Lord of the Rings Monopoly while the little ones (who like to eat the pieces and crumple the money) were in bed. Shortly after, I hear this exchange:
Isaac: Oh, Julia (with the utmost sympathy)….That is a really bad card.
Julia: Well, what does it mean?
Isaac: It means you have to pay a lot of money.
At this point I decided to intervene, hoping to stave off a fight.
Me: Did you read the card? (Obvious, right? But one never knows.)
Isaac: Yes, but we don’t know what it means.
Me: Bring me the card. (A moment later I read the card out loud) Advance your token to the nearest Wizard’s Staff, if unowned you may seize it from the bank, if owned pay owner 10 times the roll of the dice. Julia, did you move your token to the nearest wizard’s staff square?
Julia: No….what’s a token?

Have you ever seen a Health Fairy? I hadn’t, until today. Well, actually, one has been living here for almost 15 months…and I never knew! She is small, cute, and giggles a lot, and apparently increases the health level of anyone who touches her. Why would you need to increase your health level, you ask? Perhaps to get better rates on life insurance? Not in this house. It would be because a certain Poisonous Toddler has touched you, and in order to avoid certain death, one must run screaming to the Health Fairy. Did I mention that there were levels in this game? Over lunch an argument between Isaac and Julia ensued as to whether or not extra health was transferable between levels. The consensus? It’s not. Just so we are clear on the rules in case you want to come play.

While reading on the couch with Julia, Isaac enters the room wearing ……. a lampshade. On his head. That’s right, a lampshade. Better yet there was a hole in said lampshade. Or rather there was at one time a hole, but it had already been patched. Sort of.

“Look Mom, I made football helmet!”

“Isaac, Did you cut a hole in my lampshade?”

“Yeah, but I fixed it, so it’s okay. See? But that piece was too small, so I had to cut a piece of Anderson’s shirt to fix it. Good idea, right?”